Motherhood: Breathing in the Simple

A recent trip to the beach with my little guy left my heart strings bursting with love.  Love for my growing baby boy, who amazes me each and every day with the new things he learns.  Love also for a new appreciation and understanding of the beauty in the simplest things in life.  Because, who are we kidding, life is a long string of simple pleasures over amplified in our memory boxes.  And this first year of being a mother has taught me the immense joy that comes with reveling in the smallest of pleasures.  Daily life with a small child can seem chaotic and crazy.  But what I have found to be most true is that the moments slow down, allowing you to really take things in if you let it: breathing in the simple.  Babies don't want you to buy them the most expensive toy, they just want your time.  Sitting down on the grass with Maverick at the park, walking with him as he explores the neighborhood, listening to music together in the mornings-these are the simple things that get the biggest smiles and allow you to slow down your days a bit, making you better able to take in the now.

Motherhood is mirror into your soul, making you feel so vulnerable and naked.  It really exposes your strengths and weaknesses.  I have learned that I actually like to be going-going all of the time and have to be doing "something."  I never really thought of myself as that type of person before having Maverick.  Once I became a mom, my life slowed down.  Bam!  It hit me hard.  I was not used to it at all.  I clumsily navigated through the first months in a haze of disbelief: so much time on my hands to simply love on this tiny little being that my husband and I created?  Yes!  And, I slowly started realizing that I did not need to be doing something all of the time.  Managing to get one thing done was a miracle and I finally started accepting this as reality.  I learned to really enjoy my son and enjoy being a mom.  It's a very simple realization really, but a tough lesson for me nonetheless.

Now that Maverick is an on-the-go one year old, I am falling in love with watching him explore the world around him.  It is the best feeling to see his eyes and facial expressions when he figures out something new-lightbulbs hovering over his little head!  Now, I absolutely cherish the slower moments of the day when we simply are-two people exploring the beach and the sand together, driftwood treasures and fat toes in the cool water.  So one of the biggest things I have learned this past year as a new mom: be present and slow down, because seeing the world through the eyes of my son is what being a great mom is all about.

xo, B

Motherhood: Stay At Home Mama's

I have been fortunate enough to be able to stay at home with Maverick, at least for these first 8 months of his life.  That's huge, especially considering that most working moms have to go back to work around 3 or 4 months post-partum.  So, yes I am totally grateful!

That being said, it has not been an easy transition.  The choice to be a stay at home mom happened by accident and was not planned.  After my vintage shop closed in October of 2011, I had no clue what I was going to do.  I felt more out of place in the "work" world because I was about 3 months away from giving birth.  Finding a job on the cusp of having a baby was impossible.  So, stay at home I did.  After Mav came, I continued to stay with him.  I had no job to go back to and I wasn't sure if I could go back to selling vintage.  I wasn't sure if I could handle being a mama and a business owner.  The juggle scared me senseless.  Not having a place to go back to work after having a baby also scared me & I felt the most terrified, worried and out of place I have ever felt in my life.

I never envisioned myself in this role.  And the biggest challenge has been the financial burden of a single income.  The Hubs and I have made some major sacrifices and pinch many a penny on a daily basis.  He works an extra job as the Master Bicycle Mechanic/teacher for a local non-profit to earn extra income for us.  He works damn hard and I am eternally grateful for him!  But I feel constantly stressed about money (or lack thereof) and have not been able to truly relax in a long time.  I am also a pretty big worrier in general, so having a baby and not working has been a huge change that I am still trying to acclimate to.

I think about all the moms out there who have to make the tough choice between staying home (and losing income) or going back to work.  I was sorta thrown into my choice, which in a sense has made it tougher.  I have grappled for months with what my place is, trying not to lose a sense of myself as I am fully immersed in mothering my baby 24/7 from home.  Trying to hold stimulating conversation with other people while my mind just wants to shut down after a day of running after a crawling baby.  And always dreading this question from people: So, what are you doing now?  I always say that I am mothering!  I have learned just how valuable a mother is, how hard she works every day and how special her loving care is to her family.

I am so happy that I have had this time with Maverick, but part of me really wants to go back to some type of working situation.  I know it will be challenging and I am sure I will miss being at home with him more than I think I will.  But I wonder, maybe I am the type of person (type of woman/mother) who does better for herself and therefore her child, when she finds accomplishment & purpose in being challenged and stimulated by other people outside the home?  I have struggled with this question a lot lately.  I truly believe that some moms are made to be stay-at-home mama's and they work so hard!  Harder than most people even realize.  However, I think there are also women who crave some type of work outside the home and thrive off of that too.  And for those women, maybe it has been a difficult pursuit to shape themselves into their ideal SAHM.  And, it's ok to be the other woman.  The other mama, who enjoys going to work full or part time.

Often times, I feel like there is an unspoken stigma about working mothers...we talk about them in hushed tones behind their backs, about how much they miss out & how they have chosen work (god forbid!) over their children and the juggle is impossible.  We also do the same thing with stay-at-home moms, whispering about how all she does is stay home all day and has no life outside her child!  We seem to never be balanced enough for people or ourselves!  We torture ourselves inside, agonizing over whether it's better to stay home with our children or go to work...and it never ends.  No one way is perfect or the "correct" choice.  Each mother has to make the choice that works for her family (and, lots of moms simply don't have a choice-they must work!).

My decision to go back to work is mostly out of necessity but a part of me sorta kinda wants to go back to work.  It won't be easy, I am sure of it and if in the future my family had a wonderful opportunity that afforded me the chance to stay home with Mav again-yes, I would do it in a heartbeat!  Right now I am just trying to talk myself out of the guilt I feel for kinda wanting to go back to work, for desiring more adult interaction and a new daily rhythm.  I think it's ok to admit feeling stifled, lonely and bored as a stay-at-home mama!  It's not easy and feeling this way does not diminish the love you have for your baby by any means!  I love my Mister Boy more than I could ever explain.  I have been so lucky to watch him grow just a little more each day.

I may just be ready to add working mama to my list of things I do.  I am slowly becoming ok with the possibility of this change and trying not to feel too guilty about it.  Of course, I will worry.  And I will hold my baby extra long until the day comes that I go back to work.

♥

Any mom's out there, please share your thoughts on this subject...I completely respect and value working and stay-at-home moms and would love to hear how you balance it all!Any tips or advice welcome as well!  

Motherhood: Favorite Baby Clothes

Oh baby clothes, you are so cute and tiny!  And, sometimes you are difficult to get on a squirmy rolling chunky baby!  Over the last 7 months, I have figured out how to put clothing on a wiggly baby in lightening speed and which types of clothes are easiest (things with buttons and not snaps? NO WAY!).  My favorite type of onesies or baby body suits are basics that are durable, have some stretch, are soft and preferably snap all the way up as to avoid being put on over my babes head.  I have also come to really love a few particular brands.  If you look in your local thrift shop, you may find some of these great organic options at a deep discount!

Baby Wears by lovefoxvintage on Polyvore

Speesees Organic-great basics, lots of kimono wrap style options, soft organic cotton, funky graphics that both a girl or boy can rock and they make my favorite bib!  

Splendid-two words: so soft.  I really love Splendid's classic baby options!  Lots of stylish details like little pockets and gender neutral stripes.  Their jumpers are great workhorse pieces that really last through daily use.  I wish I could afford more of their stuff, but I have been very lucky and have scored a few pieces for Maverick at the thrift shop!  

Positively Organic-I own the striped blanket and blue rabbits nightgown above and love them!  We use the blanket everyday and I really dig the vibrant colors they incorporate into their designs.  They have so many whimsical prints and so far their stuff is super durable. These were two of my fav baby shower gifts!  

What are some of your favorite baby clothing brands?  I especially love to find organic pieces at a bargain!   

Motherhood: My Baby Gear Picks

Ok, so I have only been a mama for 6.5 months...but, there are a few things I've learned & mastered (sort of).  I also have a pretty good idea of what gear we own gets the most use, is economical, durable and comfortable.  I agonized over several of our bigger purchases & always loved when real mom bloggers out there gave their honest opinions about baby stuff-because it can be very overwhelming!

Before Mav arrived, I was pretty adamant about not having too much stuff; after all, he's just a baby, right?!!  Well, my family didn't get the memo.  Clothes poured in, thankfully mostly second-hand & now we are a tad overstimulated with toys (which I intend on weeding out as soon as possible) over here.  That being said, if I had to chose only 6 baby gear items to keep, the ones below are it.  They are the things we use the most and really love.  Basically, these were worth every penny.

Must Have Baby Gear by lovefoxvintage on polyvore.com

1. Ergo Baby Carrier-we use this pretty much everyday.  It is the best carrier we have tried!  We also own a Baby Bjorn that a friend so kindly gave us, but after Maverick hit 13 pounds it was painful.  We love the Ergo because of the cushy hip support, padded shoulder straps, sun shade, and front pocket.  It was a great investment & we will be using this for quite some time to come.

2. Aden & Anais Swaddle Blankets-these were gifts from my mother-in-law & if I had to, I wouldn't think twice about buying these!  I use these everyday, for everything (except swaddling, which Mav wasn't into).  I use them as a nursing cover-up, a lightweight blanket over the stroller, for spit up messes & cozy nap wrapping.  I love how breathable they are and how simple and subtle the designs are.  I sorta hate most designs on baby textiles.

3. Flip Cloth Diaper System-I know there are so many great choices when it comes to cloth diapers, but for our budget Flip's have been wonderful.  So far we love these one-size diapers because they are super easy to use, maintain and clean.  I did tons of research on cloth diapering & these got great reviews on being super durable and economical compared with similar brands/styles.  

4. Sophie the Giraffe teether-this was the best $20 bucks we spent!  Mav loves chewing and slobbering on Sophie.  Real simple and real good.

5. Inglesina Fast Table Hook-On High Chair-now that we are feeding solids, a high chair was needed.  Our problem is that we have a super tiny kitchen, so we couldn't fit any high chair basically.  Except this awesome one!  We love that it's so easy to hook on, sturdy, cushy and travels well.  Highly recommend if you have a small space.

6. Boppy Pillow-I found one of these at a consignment shop so look there first.  This has been a wonderful little pillow for making nursing more comfortable.  It was especially helpful in the beginning when I was still learning to breast feed.

You can find all of these goodies at Diapers.com or Babyearth.com

Motherhood...So Far

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I do a lot of mothering these days.  So, naturally I think a lot about motherhood and what it means to be a mother.  I think a lot about my baby and hope with all my heart that I am doing everything I can to help shape my son into an awesome human being.  It's tough work & it's a lot of pressure!

Before having Maverick, the Hub and I talked often about the types of parents we hoped we would be; the type of parenting style we thought we felt most comfortable with.  We did tons of research, talked to lots of parents and read lots of books (way too many!).  All of the things we were most into seemed to fall into the category of Attachment Parenting.  We were and are ok with this title.  It sounds a bit stifling, the word "attachment."  But the actual actions and daily motions of this type of parenting, although exhausting (parenting is exhausting no matter what I say) is so rewarding & wonderful.

We do a lot of Attachment Parenting, whether we mean to or not-we sort of naturally do it.  We don't do everything by the book (who does?) and feel that it's best to not stick so strictly to one particular parenting style.  You gotta try new things because each day is different & what didn't work yesterday may work today!  That being said, we do a fair amount of holding (Maverick is an arms baby), breastfeeding (lots!!), carrying (we have a Baby Bjorn, Ergo and Maya sling-whew!), cloth diapering (not quite sure if that's AP included or not?) and we co-sleep.  So far, everything we do has been working for us.  But it doesn't mean it's working for everyone.

We have received our fair share of questions, criticisms and disapproving glances.  Some people can't believe I pick Maverick up right away when he cries (although, when he's sleeping I do wait a few moments to see if he will settle now that he's bigger before tending to him) or that we barely use a stroller or that there's no crib in his room, blah blah blah....Some people say it looks like so much work-all the baby holding & breastfeeding on demand.  Well, it is.  But, it is also all so natural and I really believe it's worth it.  I feel like this time in my son's life is so short; he won't be a small baby for long, so why not hold him as long as I can?  So what if he falls asleep in my arms and I can't get up and do the laundry?  Or, I have to breastfeed him while I eat my sushi dinner?  Maybe my back aches a bit each day after I have carried him on a long walk.  What I know for sure is that my baby is happy.  He's getting the love, nurturing and care that he needs; that's right for him.  So, at the end of the day I fall into bed tired and with a full heart next to my sleeping babe.  I am so ok with that.  And, I am so ok with other mama's doing their own thing-because seriously, no judgement!  You do what you gotta do for your baby & for your family.

And between you and I, sometimes Maverick has to fuss a little while I go to the bathroom.  I'm pretty sure he won't be scarred for life.