Motherhood: Breathing in the Simple

A recent trip to the beach with my little guy left my heart strings bursting with love.  Love for my growing baby boy, who amazes me each and every day with the new things he learns.  Love also for a new appreciation and understanding of the beauty in the simplest things in life.  Because, who are we kidding, life is a long string of simple pleasures over amplified in our memory boxes.  And this first year of being a mother has taught me the immense joy that comes with reveling in the smallest of pleasures.  Daily life with a small child can seem chaotic and crazy.  But what I have found to be most true is that the moments slow down, allowing you to really take things in if you let it: breathing in the simple.  Babies don't want you to buy them the most expensive toy, they just want your time.  Sitting down on the grass with Maverick at the park, walking with him as he explores the neighborhood, listening to music together in the mornings-these are the simple things that get the biggest smiles and allow you to slow down your days a bit, making you better able to take in the now.

Motherhood is mirror into your soul, making you feel so vulnerable and naked.  It really exposes your strengths and weaknesses.  I have learned that I actually like to be going-going all of the time and have to be doing "something."  I never really thought of myself as that type of person before having Maverick.  Once I became a mom, my life slowed down.  Bam!  It hit me hard.  I was not used to it at all.  I clumsily navigated through the first months in a haze of disbelief: so much time on my hands to simply love on this tiny little being that my husband and I created?  Yes!  And, I slowly started realizing that I did not need to be doing something all of the time.  Managing to get one thing done was a miracle and I finally started accepting this as reality.  I learned to really enjoy my son and enjoy being a mom.  It's a very simple realization really, but a tough lesson for me nonetheless.

Now that Maverick is an on-the-go one year old, I am falling in love with watching him explore the world around him.  It is the best feeling to see his eyes and facial expressions when he figures out something new-lightbulbs hovering over his little head!  Now, I absolutely cherish the slower moments of the day when we simply are-two people exploring the beach and the sand together, driftwood treasures and fat toes in the cool water.  So one of the biggest things I have learned this past year as a new mom: be present and slow down, because seeing the world through the eyes of my son is what being a great mom is all about.

xo, B

5/52

The 52 Project-"A portrait of my son, once a week, every week, in 2013."

Maverick: Always on the go these days, never standing still for too long, adventuring and exploring everything around him.  Doesn't leave a stone unturned!

▼A little late joining The 52 Project, but I am so in love with the whole idea and can't wait to see Mav's growth over the entire year!  Happy Sunday!  Have you joined The 52 Project?

xo, B

Must Have: Wide Brimmed Hats

Wide Brimmed Hat Love 

Besides my ever-growing & unhealthy obsession with stripes and plaid (I think I need therapy), I have been called by a higher power to find the perfect wide brimmed hat.  Dramatic.  Yes, indeed.  But, I have been looking for that perfect hat to add to my collection (I have a lot of hats).  Hats are an essential accessory to any outfit in my opinion.  In fact, I feel naked when I am not wearing one!  I love them so!  It takes a certain quiet bravery to rock a damn good hat, ya know what I mean?  I totally made that up, but I love a girl in a hat.  Sigh.  I also have an image of the perfect wide brimmed hat that I am seeking in my head: felt or wool, maybe a little worn & roughed up from years of use, a thin leather band wrapped sweetly around the magical hat, a deep chestnut or dusty gray hue and a nice wide brim.  End of story.  I have yet to come across it on my thrift store jaunts and may have to pay a little more for one somewhere else-eek.  My obsession with the wider brimmed hats is obvious if you follow me on Pinterest.  Ridiculous and out of hand I tell you.  The hats & the stylish ladies donning perfectly wide brims above are my current favorites.  That blue one is dreamy!  So, is a wide brimmed hat a must?  Duh, of course!  I'd love to know how you would style yours?!!

xo, B   

Tomboy, Polka-Dots & Stripes #4

TPS Winter 

I am really feeling that girls style above-super classic basics (hello white collared shirt & fitted navy blazer!) paired with casual sneakers, bright red sweater and a chunky beanie.  It's what I want to wear everyday when it's a tad chilly out (So-Cal winter).  

My picks for polka-dots this week combine my love affair with beanies and Chucks.  I wear one or the other almost everyday (I have a lot of bad hair days it seems).  So two of my favs splattered with dots?  Yes please! 

Finally, the striped duffle/overnight bag is what I have been looking for in a weekend bag.  It's simple and practical, but very stylish.  It's a little out of my price range, but I am on the lookout for a bargain version.  And I think the polka-dotted Converse sneakers could be DIYed!  

Motherhood: The One Year Milestone

When Maverick was born a year ago, I couldn't even fathom just how quickly the year would fly by.  When I held his tiny, warm body in my arms for the first time, I never imagined how big he would grow.  Big changes happen in a year!!  As Maverick grew physically and made leaps developmentally, the Husband and I went through our own growth as new parents.  It has been an emotional roller coaster and a steep learning curve.  But, it was never impossible and we did quite well. I am proud of us!  So, high five!
As the one year mark crept upon us, I really started taking long moments to pause and think about how important this first year of baby has been.  It has truly changed us in so many ways.  Our lives will never go back to the time before and I don't think I mind one bit.  Sure, it is way harder and I get way less sleep.  But Maverick was made to be in our lives right now & life pre-Mav is just a sweet memory. Life is so much more interesting and exciting with a little one in it!  So, I wanted to share a few things I have learned as a new mama (and, I am always learning and growing!).

     ➢It's a little scary in the beginning to care for such a fragile little being!  But, it really does get easier as the days roll on & you start to get in a rhythm quicker than you think!

➢No one, I mean NO one knows your baby better than you!  This one was hard for me to get, but I soon realized that I was the best judge when it came to all things Maverick.  Even a seasoned mama of five kids (hello, Nana) isn't an expert when it comes to my babe.

➢That being said (see above), it was difficult at first for me to take advise or try things that others told me might work.  I was afraid of looking like a failure.  But, sometimes older moms do have good ideas that work and can be life savers!  Basically, it's ok to try something you didn't think of...it doesn't mean you are clueless.

➢Every once in a while I have a brief moment in which I sorta miss the spontaneity of my old life.  Visions of dashing out the door for a late dinner or packing an over-night bag for an impromptu camping trip will dance in my head.  But, as soon as the vision appears it vanishes.  I think this is pretty normal.  Right?

➢Now that Mav is a big 1 year old, I can honestly say that each day is getting funner and funner!  I really like this stage.  Sure, it is the most exhausting (maybe even more than the first few weeks) to run after a walking kinda-toddler who gets into everything!  But his big personality really makes up for it!

➢Breastfeeding may have been one of the hardest parts of this whole year.  I never felt so emotional, vulnerable and raw as I did as I learned to breastfeed my baby!  Whew, it was tough.  But, it also became like second nature eventually.  Now, I can do it with my eyes closed.  It's very weird how at one moment something is so strange & difficult but in a few months it is just part of the rhythm.

➢Don't google anything!  It will be the end of you I promise!  If you want to stay up all night worrying that your baby has some weird very rare skin rash, then go ahead, google away.  It's all about the instincts!  Truly.  You'll see, they are real (I wasn't sure mama instincts existed, but I have them now).

➢Finding time for my relationship with the Hubs is challenging.  But I am learning that it is important.  I feel refreshed and happier when I have spent some quality time with him.  It makes you a better mother when the love between your partner & yourself can shine.  This is one will continue to work on.

➢Finally, having a baby is the hardest thing I have ever done.  Duh!  I never knew so many emotions could exist!  I have felt them all this year.  My whole being has changed-my body, my mind, my heart!  None of them will ever be the same.  And, for that I am grateful.  Because I think I am a more complete person now that Maverick is here.  I feel more sure and confident about myself as well.  Having a baby can give you a courage and power you never knew was inside of you.  It's pretty darn cool.

...there are loads more I have learned.  I mean, I could go on forever!  Basically, it has been a wonderful year spent watching a little human grow.  Nothing is cooler than that!  I am so very excited for this next year and all the wild adventures that await my family of three! 

  Maverick on the move, just as he really took off walking-December 2012 Paso Robles, CA 

♥

This That These: Winter Edition

This That These: Winter Edition

Sharing some of my recent obsessions today.  I am so smitten with all of the cozy beanies I see everywhere!  But I am even more in love if the beanie has a poufy pom-pom adorning the tip top-such a sweet whimsical detail!  I have also rekindled my romance with vintage (or vintage inspired) sweaters.  I have dug through my closet to find a few of my dearest ones & especially like the ones that are a wee too small & have funny graphics.  The Poler one above is a new fav, with such a great fit and color.  I really dig anything that reminds me of camping or has camping references-perhaps due to my desire to find myself in Big Sur sometime soon.  My other crazy obsession is day packs!  I mean, my Pinterest is filled with rad day packs that I would love to own.  Out of control!  Day packs are such a lifesaver-fitting everything you need into one convenient and stylish pack.  Sigh.  I have my heart set on that kaki Poler one above!!

In other news, I still have an unhealthy obsession with anything Pendleton and socks.  I am the kind of girl who would spend a lot of money on socks if you let me.  So bad.  And lastly, I am on the hunt for an awesome overnight/duffle bag.  Traveling over the holidays made it very clear to me that my current travel bag situation is no good.  I really like the new Baggu weekend bag.  Any thoughts?  

Ahhhh, it's good to get bloggin' again folks!  

The BOY is a 1 Year Old Today!

The Mister Boy is 1 today!  Happy Birthday to my sweet jellybean, my one and only.  I can't quite believe that a whole year has come and gone.  My mind is still trying to process the whole experience of becoming a mom & watching this little human grow.  All I can say is, high five to husband and I!!!  We made it through things I didn't think we would-babies first cold, first fever, teething, car seat woes, wrestling match diaper changes, spit up everywhere, figuring out breastfeeding, pumping, going back to work, night nursing, and traveling with a baby.  And even in our most exhausted moments, we knew the beautiful sunshine would come up the next day and we would all be tucked away together in bed safe and warm, ready to greet the dawn.  Because those gummy smiles of Maverick's made life so much softer and filled with light.  I thank him every moment for making me a mama.  Best of all, I am his mama.
...i carry your heart with me (i carry it in my heart)
...you are whatever a moon has always meant and whatever a sun will always sing is you
...i carry your heart (i carry it in my heart)

I will hold him extra close today as I remember with all my might the evening in which, a year ago, Maverick Tobias Smith entered this world into the arms of his dad and unto my heart.  Warm and powerful.  It was dark outside but there was so much light in that room as he arrived and a love I never knew swelling up my soul.

xo, B